Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Sit Up Straight by Kurt Vonnegut
Ladies and Gentlemen of the 1999 incoming masters program: sit up straight.
If I could offer you one tip for the future, sitting up straight would be it.
Get to know your thesis committee members.
You never know when they are going to go on sabbatical.
Do not read journal papers. They will only make you feel stupid.
Live in Escondido Village once. But leave before it makes you hard.Live in Rains once. But leave before it makes you soft.
Don't waste time forwarding emails. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're not.
The P.H.D. is long and, in the end, you probably won't earn as much as your friends who didn't go to grad school.
You are not as lazy as you think.
Don't worry about publishing. Or worry, knowing that worrying is as effective as trying to convince your adviser he/she may be wrong.
Nap.
Accept certain inalienable truths: food is not free. Professors will belittle. You too will grow bitter and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were a master's student food was free and your professors listened to you.
Try to date.
Maybe you'll graduate, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll contribute to society, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be hooded, maybe you'll drop out and get a life.
Whatever you do, don't work too hard. Your thesis topic is half made up. So is everybody else's. But trust me on sitting up straight.
A parody of the earlier post on Sun Screen.
Ladies and Gentlemen of the 1999 incoming masters program: sit up straight.
If I could offer you one tip for the future, sitting up straight would be it.
Get to know your thesis committee members.
You never know when they are going to go on sabbatical.
Do not read journal papers. They will only make you feel stupid.
Live in Escondido Village once. But leave before it makes you hard.Live in Rains once. But leave before it makes you soft.
Don't waste time forwarding emails. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're not.
The P.H.D. is long and, in the end, you probably won't earn as much as your friends who didn't go to grad school.
You are not as lazy as you think.
Don't worry about publishing. Or worry, knowing that worrying is as effective as trying to convince your adviser he/she may be wrong.
Nap.
Accept certain inalienable truths: food is not free. Professors will belittle. You too will grow bitter and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were a master's student food was free and your professors listened to you.
Try to date.
Maybe you'll graduate, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll contribute to society, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll be hooded, maybe you'll drop out and get a life.
Whatever you do, don't work too hard. Your thesis topic is half made up. So is everybody else's. But trust me on sitting up straight.
A parody of the earlier post on Sun Screen.
# posted by Ian @ 1:06 PM 
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